Ask Ayeisha is an advice column for students. You are able to submit your questions and situations to Ayeisha to receive some advice and suggestions. To ask Ayeisha a question, send them into firstname.lastname@example.org.
Question: I see this guy on campus all the time and find him very attractive. I was wondering how I can shoot my shot (approach him)?
Ayeisha: So remember in the movie Friday when Smokey told Rita not to ever, ever, ever, ever … ever come to the house without calling him first? Well, in my Smokey voice, don’t you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever approach a man; shoot your shot; slide in his DM, no ma’am.
However, I can suggest placing yourself in a position, start a conversation with him and go from there.
True story, I was working at Macy’s at Fashion Valley (which by the way has the best deals Monday – Thursday between 10 a.m. and noon. You can get four outfits and shoes for like $80). And on this particular day, I worked at the men’s department marking down prices and I saw this fine ass brotha. He was 6’3, caramel complexion and built like a Greek god. He reminded me of Nas built like Idris Elba in a navy blue Kenneth Cole suit. Oh, and did I mention he smelt good? Girl….
So anyway, I was like I have to approach him but not come off like thirsty chicken. So I went to the women’s cosmetics department, sprayed some CoCo Mademoiselle, by Chanel and went back and walked and asked him, with a smile, if he needed any assistance. He said no but was staring hard, darling. I said no worries and if he needed anything, to let me know. Eventually, he made his transaction with a coworker but came to me after and said, “Perhaps you can help me, my name is “Mr. James” and was wondering if I can get to know you? I said yes and we exchanged numbers and started talking.
From there, we talked for a week and went out a few times before I decided it wasn’t going any further. Heaven knows he was good looking, educated and had stuff going for himself, but I had just got out of a relationship and he was looking to marry. I was not ready.
My point is don’t be so eager to talk to a man. Get to know him and feel his vibe before you shoot your shot. You never know where he is unless you feel him out first.