Ayeisha Gipson is a senior history major from Fullerton, Ca.
Ask Ayeisha is an advice column for students. You are able to submit your questions and situations to Ayeisha to receive some advice and suggestions. To ask Ayeisha a question, send them into ayeishag@aol.com.
Question: I see this guy on campus all the time and find him very attractive. I was wondering how I can shoot my shot (approach him)?
Ayeisha: So remember in the movie Friday when Smokey told Rita not to ever, ever, ever, ever … ever come to the house without calling him first? Well, in my Smokey voice, don’t you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever approach a man; shoot your shot; slide in his DM, no ma’am.
However, I can suggest placing yourself in a position, start a conversation with him and go from there.
True story, I was working at Macy’s at Fashion Valley (which by the way has the best deals Monday – Thursday between 10 a.m. and noon. You can get four outfits and shoes for like $80). And on this particular day, I worked at the men’s department marking down prices and I saw this fine ass brotha. He was 6’3, caramel complexion and built like a Greek god. He reminded me of Nas built like Idris Elba in a navy blue Kenneth Cole suit. Oh, and did I mention he smelt good? Girl….
So anyway, I was like I have to approach him but not come off like thirsty chicken. So I went to the women’s cosmetics department, sprayed some CoCo Mademoiselle, by Chanel and went back and walked and asked him, with a smile, if he needed any assistance. He said no but was staring hard, darling. I said no worries and if he needed anything, to let me know. Eventually, he made his transaction with a coworker but came to me after and said, “Perhaps you can help me, my name is “Mr. James” and was wondering if I can get to know you? I said yes and we exchanged numbers and started talking.
From there, we talked for a week and went out a few times before I decided it wasn’t going any further. Heaven knows he was good looking, educated and had stuff going for himself, but I had just got out of a relationship and he was looking to marry. I was not ready.
My point is don’t be so eager to talk to a man. Get to know him and feel his vibe before you shoot your shot. You never know where he is unless you feel him out first.