Ask Ayeisha is an advice column for students. You are able to submit your questions and situations to Ayeisha to receive some advice and suggestions. To ask Ayeisha a question, send them into firstname.lastname@example.org.
QUESTION: If the family is the cause of your mental health effects, how can you balance your health while still engaging with them?
Response: “Nobody wins when the family feuds… especially if they’re from the same hue as you. Y’all stop me when I stop tellin’ the truth.” ~ Jay-Z, Family Feud (2017)
I enjoy this song for one reason: Every family has issues. Although we can’t pick and choose our family, you have the choice to pick and choose who you associate with. Your mental stability is important. There are many case studies related to mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety that leads to other issues like high blood pressure.
Look! You can’t have it both ways, beloved. If someone in general causes you stress, cut them off, family included. I watched my mother keep toxic family members in her life and it caused her stress to the point where she had high blood pressure. She ended up having a stroke in 2019, and that messed me up.
Nonetheless, I had to cut out toxic family members, and it was one of the greatest decisions I’ve made as an adult. I don’t feel bad. Just because someone is family, doesn’t mean you have to be in their circle and vice versa.
This is a touchy one and I am biased, no cap. I suggest talking to a professional at the Wellness Center on campus and see what they say.
Best of luck!