Dates can be stressful, uncomfortable and sometimes awkward. Between the expectations and nervousness they usually don’t go as planned. I always seem to over analyze every detail. However, this helped me realize that I would not be perusing a second date.
One first date in particular during my adolescence, will forever be etched into my mind.The date had actually exceeded my expectations.
As I drove her home, I turned on my CD player and proceeded to continue our conversation from earlier that night. But, before I could start my sentence, Webbie’s “Bad B****” blared through my speakers. Afraid that I had ruined the moment, I quickly tried to change the song, but before I could I looked over to find her rapping along with Webbie.
She looked over at me, smiled and said “You want a Bad B****? Ashleigh’s the baddest.” You know that moment when you are at a crossroads to making a detrimental, life-altering, poor decision and weighing other less damaging options? I was there.
I finally managed to cut the CD player off. With a puzzled look I asked, “When you refer to yourself as a Bad B**** you know your claiming to be a disobedient dog. Is that your intent?”
She tried to justify her reasoning for thinking she was a “Bad B****,” but out of frustration she eventually stopped and pouted. There is no dramatic ending other than walking her to her door and telling her to call me when she was done being a “Bad B****.” I vowed to never take any woman serious who referred to themselves or their friends in such a derogatory way.
How many songs can you think of that feature the B-word when referring to women? I can think of quite a few.
Insert Lupe Fiasco’s controversial “B**** Bad” video that recently sparked a myriad of criticism.
He attempts to examine the complications of the word. The lyrics tell the tale of two kids – one a little boy and one a little girl, who interpret and internalize the word in different ways.
In a recent interview he stated, “I just wanted to have a conversation.I think it’s something that’s very subtle – the idea of it, the ‘Bad B****’ – it’s very subtle but it definitely has some destructive elements to it,” Lupe said.
To add fuel to the fire , Kanye West tweeted that he’d written the song “Perfect B****” about Kim Kardashian.
Women call other women “Bad B****’s” so it must be acceptable right? Not in my opinion. As a son, uncle, brother and one day father I wouldn’t find a ounce of endearment in the word.
This debate is never ending. But, this is not intended to blame hip-hop on any sort of objectification of women; instead, it is about the language that we use and how we appropriate space.
Jeremy Smith is a mass communication major from Jacksonville, Fla.