Love isn’t what you think

Every year February comes and goes and so does the celebration for African American men and women who have overcome struggles and defeats for the betterment of our community. However, for the single African American mothers the struggles will continue all year. During Black History Month we show our respect and appreciation to all of the famous individuals who did or are doing extraordinary things for the Black community. But the fact is, Black single mothers make history every day.

Coming up in a single parent home, I know from experience how a Black woman faces hardships on a daily basis. My mother raised three children on her own while working and attending community college. How she did it, I never will understand. She would have to not only work and go to school but also make sure we ate, had clothes on our backs and a home to call our own.Unlike in more traditional years when men would be the provider and the women would be the stay-at-home mother, my mom – like many others – was both.

In this day and age, women are more independent than ever and for some, it is not because they choose to be. However, for the sake of their children they have to be independent and strong willed. I admit if I were to have a father figure around who was active in my life things would have probably been much more easy for my mom and I.

Nevertheless, since they were not together I did not complain, or try to use that as an excuse for having hardships, but instead use it as motivation.

Some individuals try to blame their mistakes on not having a father figure around, but for many others and I, our moms served as father figures. Even without the help of a man around, many single Black mothers, like my mom, are raising strong Black men and women who go on to succeed.

Black single mothers have many factors going against them such as the structure of society which alone makes it harder to raise children. The Black community is prone to more violence, sex and drugs than probably any other race.

Therefore, single Black mothers who still go against all of those things and raise successful children, says a lot about their strength.

What I am really trying to get to is this: Black single mothers should be appreciated much more than they are. They do not have to get the spotlight on television shows or on award shows but they should at least get that appreciation from their offspring.

My mom means the world to me, and I try to show her that as much as I can. If it were not for her determination and great strength, I would not be where I am.

HBCUs are full of students who come from broken homes so while we celebrate our history before us, I believe we should celebrate the history that we actually came from, and that is our Single Black Mother.