Recently a friend of mine told me that she was scared to date because of her past relationships. She said that her past relationships affected her present ones and made her fear future relationships. It’s almost like she is caught up in a love triangle with her past. And this happens to a lot of us.
When we do not leave the past behind us and carry it everywhere we go, then we allow it to make all the decisions for us. Holding on to the past will not get you anywhere in relationships or in life.
So basically what I’m going to talk about is how you will not be able to move forward in a relationship if you keep looking backward at your past for directions.
We’ve all been hurt in relationships. Some let go, and others do not. It is a hard thing to do sometimes but we have to move on and realize that not every person we date is going to hurt us.
However, being on the opposite side of that, we have to realize what the other person has been through. It can be something as simple as being stood up on a date, or as serious as being cheated on. Either way, we all have to be patient.
This does not pertain to women only. To all my brothers out there, we do the same thing. We date one promiscuous girl, then after that we think all girls are the same.
Nobody is the same. Let me give an example.
Say you go to a restaurant and order a cheeseburger. You are excited for this cheeseburger too, but when you finally get the cheeseburger, it tastes horrible and makes you sick.
From that point on every time you get a cheeseburger you are hesitant to eat it. Then once you start to eat it you are scared to eat the whole thing. Not every cheeseburger you encounter tastes horrible and makes you sick, just like not every person you meet is rude and plans to hurt you. You have to give them a chance.
In addition, you don’t even know if they are giving you a chance. Everyone has been hurt, so why not heal each other?
Eat the cheeseburger, and if you are not satisfied, move on. But also remember not every cheeseburger is perfect.
You know how every time you go to a fast food restaurant and you look at the menu and you see the very delicious looking Big Mac on the pictured menu? It is thick with round buns evenly placed, sesame seeds in perfect order and the condiments are spread on smoothly. So you decide to order your perfect Big Mac, but when you get it, it looks nothing like the photo at all. Flat buns with lazily thrown on burnt sesame seeds, ketchup and mustard and some horrid mixed orange blob. You notice it’s all the same ingredients but not the same – just like the relationship that you hope to be perfect, but when you finally get into it, it’s not what it was advertised to be.
However, you didn’t even try it because of the last burger you had. Don’t allow your past to affect your present and decide your future. Like the great reggae legend Bob Marley once said, “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.