Every time I go home my family bombards me with this simple yet complex question. I always give a puzzled look and shrug. To my family, I have reached that age where it’s time to take that trip down the aisle. Much like the biological clock that ticks, wedding bells have started to ring loud and clear. And even though I am not interested in getting married tomorrow, I secretly wonder, when?
I have never quite understood the anticipation of it all. Half of the women in my family have never been married and I always wondered why they felt it was so important for me to do otherwise. I feel inclined to break the curse of family tradition. I am completely aware of what I need to do in order to make it happen. Unfortunately, I need more time than my age or my family is allowing.
So, at the age of 24, I have discovered from church, family and friends that getting married is important. I have often been told that 25 is the ideal, nice, solid age to make the inevitable decision, but seeing that I am eleven months and three weeks away from that deadline, things aren’t looking that great. What is a girl to do?
As a young woman, I have had my encounters with the opposite sex, good and bad. And, let’s just say, I am still single. I watch many of my friends enter these strong and solid relationships, and some have even ended up happily married. I know deep down that I want to have these types of relationships, but I seem to never make the invisible deadline given to me.
I understand that there is a whole process I must go through in order to get to marital bliss. My family tells me that I should look for a nice boy and date for a while. Then, that nice boy will ask me to marry him. But at my age, who wants a boy? So, I turned to friends who tell me that I should talk to many guys.
When the one that seems serious enough about getting to know me, and not my body, comes around, I will know. OK, tried it, and it doesn’t work. They all want the same thing, friendship and sex. No commitment or anything that might take them away from seeing other girls. Go figure.
At church, I am told to go straight to the good book itself, and all my answers will be there. So I read it and discovered that I should not be the one to looking, but yet, to be found. But when is he going to find me? I’m told that when he finds me, I will know that he is the one for me.
Well, I have seen some people who have never known and some who have known more than once. I mean, I don’t want to spend my whole life waiting to be found. Before you know it, I am 35 and still in the same boat just drifting farther out to singlehood.
All of this just makes me think that marriage happens to those who want it when they want it. But in reality, marriage happens when it needs to happen. It shouldn’t be rushed, and for that I will not allow the pressure of my age, family or friends to dictate a timeline.
Now, when I am asked about getting married, I can respond with certainty.
“It will happen when I am least expecting it.