Advice to incoming freshmen and others

Offering freshmen advice feels weird because I’ve only spent a year in the trenches of this crazy, beautiful, (dys) functional place that is Grambling State University. Having said all that, let’s hit the high points. Ladies, we’re all familiar with the expression “you are what you eat.” Here in the mighty Boot of America, you are also what you wear. Sistas will be addressed as any article of clothing not approved by the mighty panel of vocal on-the-Yard Specialists.

They are befuddling. I, too was confused about the prevalence of fashionable physiques with no intentions of opening a textbook, or at best little. Some people come to Grambling State University, wake up and trek toward their destination. That destination being the yard.

With goals. Of ripping, roasting and verbally annihilating you (and gentlemen alike).

Don’t subject yourself to it. Envision yourself flouncing past the union outfitted in last year’s skinny jeans with this year’s body. This is a no-no. If you subject aforementioned Yard Specialists to your buttock cleavage, you just might earn the unshakable nickname of Crack (or worse).

Sometimes it’s wise to find longer routes to class and avoid Ripping the Runway with the Yard Specialists. It’s also wise not to spend the first month reveling in the splendor of the Yard and its Specialists and then decide a few weeks into the semester to rejoin the ranks of students consistently present in classrooms. Professors do notice and a few will call you out on it.

Gentlemen, don’t pollute the environment with disrespect. What amuses you and likely many of your pea-brained brethren, is traumatizing at most and irritating at least to many women on this campus.

A good rule of thumb is as follows: If you wouldn’t want someone to utter it to your mother/sister/grandmother/equally substantial female in your life, it’s probably not going to be appreciated by the majority of women on this campus.

Remember that patience is a virtue. I’m certain many have fallen victim to the Older Man. This seemingly mature man cruises outside the 500 building (and every other capacity populated by barely legal ovaries), with rims large enough to dismantle your self esteem. These rims just might spin. He has six twelves. His Jordans are cleaner than yours. His pectoral muscles protrude. He will gain access to every girl you noticed first.

Be not dismayed! (The ladies will come back, and if not, reassess the quality of females around you.)

Now, that about concludes my gender specific advice. The following is common sense:
n Books over looks. (Or at least default to a balancing act.)

– Moderation. (Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Executing adult actions with an infantile mentality makes you look more childish than avoiding the vice(s) altogether.)

– Have fun. (However you define it, so long as you don’t significantly harm yourself or others.)

– Give Gram a chance. (Bring a little taste of your origin with you and help diversify the experience here.)

– Stick with it. Grambling run-around, pursuit of the evasive Fee Sheet, Financial Aid sagas, unsettled post-caf stomachs, boredom and all, this place is worth it.

If none of this advice birthed an epiphany in you, you’re far ahead of the curve. Enjoy Gram. Time flies.