Dude is boisterous. His scent is an infusion of weed, Blacks, liquor, and late nights, perhaps some combination of the first with the latter. His boxers show. Wife-beaters hang from his frame. The corners of his mouth slip into snarls. His profane words pounce onto any available ear. He randomly spits mucous. Bring him home to Mama.
I saw a female walk into his space, cut him off abruptly, breezing by his friends as she entered the Union. Instinctively, he barreled toward her, reached both chiseled arms out aggressively and he- held the door open for her.
It was most intriguing. Stereotypically, he would’ve made an example out of her for his boys. Instead, he renewed hope in modern chivalry.
An urban gentleman?
Although he reinforced the old “don’t judge a book by its cover” adage, he’s not unique on campus. Daily, dudes (many of whom I don’t know from Adam), hold doors open for me.
I never expect it, but it’s always appreciated, and we ought to applaud guys who go hard enough to soften themselves for ladies. I don’t equate masculinity (or femininity) with servitude, but, I do find traditional thoughtfulness, admirable.
In an age of party hopping, poking on Facebook (admittedly guilty), many try to holla out of (passengers’) windows, boom bass by, “yee-haw” or “yippee”, (common in Jacksonville, Florida), “Say Gull” (learned that one right here in the Boot), or call women what we wear.
(One of my friends walked past a guy while wearing a pink Southpole shirt. Since she’s been dubbed “Pinky” whenever said male spots her.)
Lest we forget, these more (um, basic) advances are (sometimes) appreciated, more typically chivalrous behavior is (usually) welcomed with arms wide open.
As products of our environments, we act and react based on our exposure and experiences, so I understand that it might be harder for some to remember common courtesy when their crews on the block were anything but.
And it’s a two way street.
As females, we shouldn’t expect guys to do anything for us. (We are, or should be, in college learning to be go-getters ourselves.) Let’s commend men for every gentlemanly gesture offered. Most people repeat the positive behavior that brings them praise.
Meet people halfway. Maybe even go Dutch on doors. If you hold it open for me this time, next time, I got you.