Bag the pants issue and read

Four letter words are insanely popular here. I’m focused on one in particular. There’s no need to be appalled because it’s nothing profane. I’m focusing on the word belt because apparently, society’s newest old problem is sagging pants. What are we- afraid of the Big, Bad Exposed Undies?

However, they’re only a nuisance on males. There’s nothing ruder than watching a grown man walk with Scooby Dooby Doo drawers peeking out, right?

We turn a blind eye to that pervasive triangle that pops up on the backside of that girl in our history class. Someone please cue the Thong Song.

However, we don’t feel disrespected by this.

When a female saunters by with her shorts an inch from where the sun doesn’t shine, we’re not offended. When we’re grubbing in the caf and a series of love handles begin dancing a jig, we condone it. When a tidal wave of cleavage spills out all over campus, we accept it.

Some ladies should just wear a censor bar with everything that they expose to the world, but we keep it moving because we believe, to each her own.

If a male decides to wear his pants a little (or in some cases substantially) lower than what the masses deem socially acceptable, talk of future fines, relationship compatibility, cellmate intimacy and the state of the black community arise.

To some it’s an issue of good taste and seeming put together, but if we start down the subjectively slippery slope of good taste, how can we prevent it from catching us all?

What if I’m offended by women with massive armpit hair? What if I don’t want Mighty Joe Young to raise her hand in class because I find that bush distasteful?

What if we charged everyone with stinky breath a pollution fine on their Fee Sheet?

What if we implemented a lotion tax for every gray elbow on campus?

How is it so repulsive for a man to sag, but so socially acceptable for females to exploit their every curve and crevice?

It’s because boxers are offensive?! I’m not buying that for one second. Exposed underwear that typically stops mid-thigh is worse than a thong boing-boinging at everyone?


Quite frankly, I came from a school where many males wore girl pants. So, I’d much rather see a man sag a tad than rock some hip huggers from my closet. Does the name Steve Urkel ring any bells?

Aside from the fact that in the age of the metro sexual, I appreciate men who buck the system and show a little swagger with their clothes.

As with most things, there can be a compromise. There has to be some middle ground between pants so low that they impede one’s ability to walk straight and trousers so tight that one is unable to have kids.

Also, are there not more pressing issues to attack? What about the majority single parent households that we live in? Does anyone care that there’s a disproportionate amount of black people who are obese and experience health risks? Have we heard about crime rates? Darfur? HIV/AIDS? Literacy rates? Cancer?

Maybe instead of pushing guys to pull up their pants, we should encourage everyone, male and female to pick up some books and focus on another four letter word: READ.