I used to think it didn’t exist, but it does. I’m talking about the stigma about good Black men, called “The Nice Guy Theory.” The theory is that good Black women more often than not give good Black men the shaft.
Before you start sending me four-page letters like Aaliyah, listen to what I have to say. Most Black women seek the good Black man. However, they never give the good Black men a chance to try to be with them.
In turn, these good Black men become bitter Black men, and have apathy for Black women. Then, the Black women want to call this bitter Black man a “low-down, dirty dog.” Hate it or love it, it’s the truth.
The sad thing is, these same Black women want to shun the good Black man for dating a woman not of his race, even though this other woman is treating the good Black man the way a real woman should.
Now this may sound complicated, but it happens every day. I know many men who are victim of the “nice guy” syndrome.” I am one of them.
I’m going to be completely honest with you. Many Black women, especially those on campus, have done me wrong. While I won’t call out any names, you know who you are. You know if you’re one of the ones who’ve acted as if you liked me only to get one thing – whether it be pictures or some money – and then act as if I don’t exist.
You know if you’ve acted as if you were my friend but then failed to even return my calls when I needed some advice. You know if I’ve given you advice, been there for you when you were pledging, consoled you about your abusive boyfriend, etc., only for you to act as if I don’t exist.
Yet I find that you consider me as a friend. It’s funny because I thought friends were there for each other. I have so many “friends” who are never there for me.
Well, let me tell you something: I’m tired. I’m tired of being fed up with ignorant Black women. Wait – I have to include some of the smart Black women in this as well, since you act ignorant toward me as well.
Pretty much every Black woman (but NOT all of you) that I’ve met on this campus has done me wrong in some way. I could probably be up all night talking about women who have done me wrong, but this is only a column, so I can’t elaborate.
What kills me the most is that most Black women claim they’ll never let a man lay a hand on them, but I find out that they have more black eyes than Mike Tyson. It’s a complete contrast!
Yet when you have a nice guy sitting there caring for you, you’ll pass him up for the next guy who’ll knock your teeth out.
I could easily become the “dog” that most women despise, but my mom raised me better than that. I will never lay my hands on a woman unless my life depends on it. But that’s not a “Facebook” trend right now.
Until then, I’ll continue to be a good Black man. I know God has someone for me, and eventually I’ll meet her. I can only hope she’s not as ignorant as some Black women.
Darryl Smith is a senior mass communication major from Monroe.