When I was a little girl my momma used to tell me all the time, “What goes on in this house, stays in this house.” And let her hear you telling somebody, even a close relative, anything about the comings and goings of her household, you can read it, write it or carve it in stone, a whipping was sure to follow.
It seems like I was the only person on this campus who adhered to this threat. More frequently than not, it is commonplace to hear people talking about sorority sisters not liking each other and bad-mouthing them to a member of another organization. Not pointing fingers just at the ladies, but the guys as well. They do the same thing. “Oh, I don?t like this n***a … “
Worst of all, as in house business becomes everybody’s business; outsiders, aspirants and nonmembers lose respect for the persons with the loose lips and the organization or club those members are affiliated with.
As this world becomes more and more fickle, a man’s word is his bond. In life that is really all we have left. So when you take on the commitment of joining a team, club or organization, whatever disagreements you incur as a member, then you should keep those in house.
I know that there has to be an appropriate chain of command that you can use to express your concerns and I am almost positive that chain (in most cases) does not include your classmate or your homeboy.
Passing out in-house business usually comes with unwanted side effects which includes, but not exclusive to exaggeration. Example: What could have been Ina and Lisa (who are in different sororities) both want to be Miss Grambling can easily be turned into Lisa wants to run for Miss Grambling and she is going to do anything she has to, to sabotage Ina. Now everyone is mean mugging Lisa and treating her badly. Thinking that she is some sort of villain when all she did was express her desire to obtain a position that many women are seeking.
Scott and Jay got into a shouting match at their last meeting; with the right additives, this can turn into Scott and Jay had an all out brawl which left Scott with a broken arm. Now, Scott really broke his arm shortly before the meeting at baseball practice, but since no one saw the incident and the story sounds much juicier with a brawl that leads to injury, which do you think people are most likely to believe?
These small examples are scenarios which can lead to university fines, unnecessary investigations, and the disrespect of your peers. Look around, the organizations or clubs with the least public indiscretions are the ones that are the most popular and most successful.
Those who can take any beef that they may have with the goings on of their organizations; cook it up and eat it are the ones who know more about professionalism than many exec’s. Why would anyone in their right mind want to defame the character of their club by badmouthing another member or their actions to outsiders?
I don’t care what your personal vendetta with that person may be, no one outside of your group should know it. When you have to choose between airing grievances that may lead to questioning the integrity of your organization you should refrain from doing it.
Marisa D. Turner is an english major from Mansfield.