Opinion

Episode One: Tiger Village, the G Wagon, and A Temper

EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the first in a continuing series. All characters are fictional; however, the scenarios are very real. Enjoy.

I ruled my high school; I was Queen B so college will definitely be a piece of cake. I was accepted to my entire “top 5”, finished number two in my class — which in my opinion was a total imbecilic mistake to ruin me, but I digress and led my volleyball team to several state championships. I am a powerhouse. Who am I? I am Jersee Pilar Mack, Miss Jersee if I like you. 

    I pride myself on being driven, setting goals and sticking with them so I can’t wait to takeover at GSU! Grambling State University that is; you know, the place where everybody is somebody. Well true GramFam say “The place where everybody is somebody with a fee sheet” so I guess I’m nobody because I definitely don’t have one of those. 

    My friend Klarque Winterbrook graduated from GSU last fall with a mass communications degree and her influence is what lead me here. And coming all the way from Albuquerque, New Mexico, you know this wasn’t easy. Who would not want to attend such an amazing and world renown historically black university? The way I see it, I can have the best of both worlds; undergraduate at an HBCU and graduate school at a PWI. 

    Well at least that is the dream I sold my mom, she is a very proud parent. Disappointing her would hurt me but this is college baby and I am definitely down with the turn up! Seriously no one tell her because if she finds out she will kill me. I did not to Gram alone either. I brought my ride or die, my poodle Muffin. 

    Yes, I know dogs are illegal on campus but they’ll never suspect a thing. Muffin is practically human. She likes to dress up and she loves any excuse to dance. Sometimes I swear Muff even talks to me. First things first, I need to go pick up my room assignment.

    “Hello, how are you? I’m Jersee Mack and I’m here to retrieve my room assignment”

    “Hi Miss Mack, I’m great. Can I have your id.”

    “I see that we have not received a room reservation fee for you.”

    “What?! I paid my fee nearly six months ago. Do you need to call someone? I definitely have receipts.”

    “No need Miss Mack, you seemed to be placed in the wrong stack. Your room assignment is Wheatley 2230.”

    “Oh great!”

    “That moment when you get your room assignment and you hop in your brand spanking new lilac G Wagon feeling like a million bucks because you’re Jersee Mack, b****!”

 

Two Days Later…..

 

    Today is the start of a brand new life, a brand new Teagan. I am leaving all the drama in New York and heading to Louisiana with a positive mindset. I’m transferring from NYU to GSU. I’m a little nervous. The Bronx is home. I grew up here. I had my first fight at the age of four right outside my house. 

    I remember it like it was yesterday. I was chilling, you know, minding my business and then next thing you know, I dropped shorty like, “bink, bink, boom!” Three straight punches and he was out. He shouldn’t have said anything about my mama. Ah, good times. I honestly thought I would never see anything past Sixth Street and Atkins but look at God! 

    Well, kind of look at God. It isn’t God’s fault I got into an “altercation” and got kicked out of NYU, I’ll take the blame for that. NYU was tripping though! How they gone kick me out and say that I’m always starting trouble? Bih please! It’s these raggedy, busted females that are always looking at me funny and I don’t play that crap! 

    Like girl, what are you looking at; you got me all the way, messed up so now I’m about to knuck and buck until you fix your eyes. Now that I think of it, I sort of have a temper. I’m really, really smart, book and street, but my temper? Boy, my temper and my mouth tend to get the best of me. But I bet old girl won’t look at anyone else like that without thinking of these hands she caught! Ha.         I’m starting a new chapter in life now and I am trying to leave all that behind me. No more fighting for me. I’m too old for that now. I’ll be 18 in a few weeks and I don’t need any jail time. Too cute for that! Grambling State University is about to see a new and improved Teagan Grey Santiago. As long as a b**** don’t step on my shoes, we good. 

    When I attended NYU last fall, I still lived with my family. Now that I’m officially Gramfam and a million miles away from home, I’ll be staying on campus. They call it “Tiger Village”. My mom and dad already paid my room reservation fee so all I have to do is get my keys and walk up the stairs of Phyllis Wheatley. Not only have I never had a roommate but also I’ve never gotten along with females so this will be interesting. Oh man, I was hoping I didn’t have a roommate but someone’s things are all ready here. 

    “Hey! I’m Jersee. What’s your name?”

    “Uh, hey. I’m Teagan, Teagan Santiago

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Hey guys, Kai here! We hope you enjoyed reading our first episode of The Real Chix just as much as we loved writing it!

 I had a blueprint for a great column series and Tam helped me bring my dream to life. My character Jersee Mack’s personality and charisma is mimicked after my four year old cousin, Jersee who has loads of personality. 

I like to believe that Tam’s character, Teagan, is mirrored after me because she and I have similar backgrounds and back stories for transferring to GSU. Ironic, right? However, Tammara did a great job of bringing the character to fruition. Our friendship is quite similar to the characters as we both are from different regions in the U.S. Tam is a junior criminal justice and psychology double major from Detroit, Michigan and I’m a junior biology and sociology double major Miami, Florida. You guys will definitely hear more from Miss Jersee and Teagan throughout the remainder of the semester. 

The Real Chix will chronicle Jersee and Teagan’s trek through GSU and all the controversies they run into. For many of us at Gram, things that seem so simple like registering for classes can sometimes be the largest obstacle in our way. 

With this column series our goal is to be a voice of comedic relief but an inside look at the hell students go through during their tenure at GSU. If you would like a scenario you have been faced with to appear in The Real Chix column series please email us at charlieryanvaughn@gmail.com